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toilet

All Entries Business and Work Food & Recipes Health Humor

Daring Dining

February 17, 2016

Entertaining out of town guests can be difficult. Especially when it comes to finding original, trendy places to dine. After all, once you’ve had one surf & turf, you’ve had them all. Fortunately, the food and beverage industry is never at a loss for new and unusual places to eat. Here’s a list of my favorite new restaurants. Admittedly, I haven’t been to them all, but they’re on my bucket list.

The Heart Attack Grill – Dallas, Texas and Chandler, Arizona

The Heart Attack Grill makes no apologies for its menu. In fact, every featured item embraces an unhealthy diet. Located in Chandler, Arizona and Dallas, Texas, the Heart Attack Grill includes items like the Single, Double, Triple and Quadruple Bypass Burgers that can have as much as two pounds of beef and have over 8,000 calories. Accompany your burger with an order of Flatliner Fries (cooked in pure lard), a pure Butterfat Shake or a tall glass of full sugar Coca-Cola® and you’ll be well on your way to heart disease. As an added bonus, anyone who finishes a Quadruple Bypass Burger receives a free ride to their car in a wheelchair. read more

All Entries Business and Work Health Humor Hygiene

Let’s Get This Potty Started

January 11, 2016

I was in my early 20s, when I decided to take a break from the tedious life I had created for myself and spend a summer in Munich, Germany. Ever since I saw Leni Riefenstahl’s epic documentary of the 1938 Olympic Games, I wanted to experience for myself what it would be like to pole vault in Bavaria.

With barely $500 to live on, I realized that I’d need some way to support my trip, so I hit the straβe looking for work. After several days, the only thing I could come up with was an administrative job in the United States Army Post Exchange Headquarters. It wasn’t the greatest job I’ve ever had and certainly didn’t satisfy my desire to be immersed in German track and field, but it paid for my round airfare, and still left a little spare time to explore southern Germany on the weekends.

One day, during the height of our busiest season, my American co-workers and I began to notice how much time the German nationals were taking for “restroom breaks,” leaving us with the lion share of the work. Since it’s pretty hard to argue with someone over their hygienic practices, I wrote an imaginary memo from the Commander of the Post Exchange System to get deadbeats thinking before taking their 10th restroom break of the day. I forged the Commander’s signature, posted the memo on official letterhead and distributed it throughout the Exchange Headquarters. It read something like this: read more

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