Los Angeles, California – American authorities announced yesterday that they had successfully thwarted an attempt by terrorists to detonate dozens of “sticky bombs” made from 1-liter bottles of Diet Coke and Mentos candy mints, preventing what could have been the messiest attack on U.S. air carriers in aviation history.
The Transportation Security Administration first became aware of the threat after observing a number of men of Middle Eastern descent carrying cases of the popular drink onto six different planes. “At first, we were focused on what was in their carry-on luggage,” said Henry Wilkinson, TSA’s Chief of Domestic Terrorism. “We were looking for mainstream explosives like jelled nitroparafin, metal perchlorate and nitroglycerin. It never even dawned on us to look for soda.” Security officials at Los Angeles International Airport let the men breeze right through the screening stations, completely unaware of the threat they represented.
The bombs were made from a number of very simple, yet deadly components. The men, all in their early twenties and members of the radical “al-Quesadilla” extremist group, first became aware of the soda’s volatile nature after visiting the “Professor Brainius Wild and Wacky Science for Kids” website, where it explained in detail how to explode liters of Diet Coke by dropping packages of Mentos candy mints into them. “The Diet Coke idea was brilliant,” said Wilkinson. “They knew that they could easily smuggle the Mentos on board by stringing them together and wearing them around their necks as Afghan fertility beads,” said Wilkinson. “Then, they stuffed 12, one liter bottles of Diet Coke into the inside pockets of their wool trench coats.” The fact that it was mid-August and over 100 degrees outside, failed to generate any interest from the TSA agents or passengers – even during a pat down. Once on-board, assembling the bombs was easy.