My Books

You can purchase all of these books from and other fine book retailers

Ski Instructors Confidential: The Stories Ski

Instructors Swap Back at the Lodge

Peanut Butter Publishing (February 14, 2005)


Ski Instructors Confidential is a hilarious collection of stories, taken from professional ski instructors from Alaska to Vermont; from 1942 to the present. Experience for yourself what ski instructors go through during a typical day as they take flatlander novices through their paces in high altitude playgrounds throughout the world.


 Watching Grandma Circle the Drain

AuthorHouse (July 28, 2011)

ISBN-10: 1463437935

ISBN-13: 978-1463437930

In his latest tour de force, Allen Smith takes on the challenges of life from his own gritty perspective. Everything from surviving on-line dating to enduring his first sigmoidoscopy and advancing age. Watching Grandma Circle the Drain is a collection of Smith’s most entertaining work from his previously published columns. In addition to his own experience with struggling to learn Spanish and annihilating the game of golf, he gives the reader an inside look at some of the things they’ve never wondered about, like managing persistent telemarketers, what it’s like to qualify as a sperm donor and some of the most unusual ways to make a living without a college degree. In part two, Smith takes aim at news stories by attacking issues like home schooling, women competing in the Tour de France, dozing air traffic controllers and the first person to marry (and divorce) himself. Watching Grandma Circle the Drain is a bite-sized, entertaining look at the way we complicate our lives. Once you read it, you’ll never look at life the same way again.

Monkey in a Pink Canoe

Winner of the 2014 Best Humor book

by the Colorado Independent Publishers Association

Relentlessly Creative Books; 1st edition (April 21, 2014)


ISBN-13: 978-0989540650

Comprised of a collection of his most popular columns and blog posts from the past two years. Monkey in a Pink Canoe is the antidote to sanity. Smith pokes fun at subjects like explaining the birds and the bees to a 6-year-old (Monkey in a Pink Canoe) using street slang like, “paddling the pink” and “bald headed yogurt slinger,” while annihilating the way new parents saddle their children with embarrassing monikers such as Bronx Mowgli, Moxie CrimeFighter and Banana Howdy.

Everything is fair game in Monkey in a Pink Canoe. From the author’s personal challenges of learning how to feed himself (Betty Crocker Means Good Nutrition) to trying to make the best of things while your life collapses around you (With Rentals Like These, Who Needs Friends?).

Some of the essays describe our common struggles as growing children learning how to smoke cigarettes (Smoke ‘em if Ya Got ‘em,) and lusting after our first buzz from alcohol (Alcohol of Fame). Others describe what happens later in life as we wrestle with the aging process (I’ll Never Forget the Time I Remembered, A Little Baggage Never Hurt Anyone) and (I Don’t Feel as Good as I Look). Even religion (Stranded in Purgatory and Reincarnation Gone Cluck) fails to escape a direct assault by describing what it’s like to spend near-eternity with Hitler, Bin Laden and Tonya Harding or a reincarnated chicken on his way to a mid-west KFC.

Monkey in a Pink Canoe is the perfect antidote to real life. The essays are short, entertaining and the ideal vacation from a busy life.

Some of my other contributions:


Chicken Soup for the Soul: Runners

Chicken Soup for the Soul; 1st edition (July 13, 2010)

ISBN-10: 1935096494

ISBN-13: 978-1935096498

Runners will love these inspirational stories about their sport — the camaraderie, the self-discipline, the energy and endorphins they enjoy, the self-discovery. Includes stories on swimming and cycling for triathletes too.

When runners aren’t running, they are talking about running, planning their next run, shopping for running. This book contains 101 stories from everyday and famous runners. Telling their stories to other runners. About how running has improved their lives, recovering from injuries, challenging themselves, and includes amazing stories of marathons, camaraderie, and the natural high that comes from this popular sport. Plenty of stories for triathletes too, covering swimming and cycling.


The Gigantic Armchair Reader

West Side Publishing (September 7, 2009)

ISBN-10: 1412716535

ISBN-13: 978-1412716536

What do you get when you fill more than 500 pages with some of the most curious, interesting, and oddball facts and explanations available to intelligent man? You get Armchair Reader: The Gigantic Reader. It s a classic installment in the immensely popular Armchair Reader series.

Some of it is downright absurd like the art of gurning, a British contest in which you try to make the ugliest face possible. Some of it makes you realize what a big world we live in like the fact that Sesame Street is now in 120 countries (and, in several cases, is very different from the original U.S. version). And some of it is startling such as the descriptions of The Women of the SS, ladies who saw fit to lend their aid to Hitler s killing force.

Read only a few pages of Armchair Reader: The Gigantic Reader and you’ll come out smarter and more amazed at the world around us. It digs into hundreds of fascinating topics, such as:
Trepanation, the 7,000-year-old art of drilling holes in the skull for medical reasons.
The strangest baseball injuries, including the time Roger Craig lacerated his finger on a woman’s bra strap. An interview with a real pet psychic. The largest living organism not a whale but a mushroom. An enormous list of flubbed headlines, like Meridian Woman Training for 20004 Games

Equal parts wisdom and humor, Armchair Reader: The Gigantic Reader contains countless stories about the kooky, the fascinating, and the amazing. Perfect as a gift for a loved one or for yourself and a great way to pass a few minutes or a long weekend on the couch, Armchair Reader: The Gigantic Reader won’t fail to make you think.

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