All Entries Business and Work Communication Humor

Putting Lipstick on a Pig

December 1, 2017

As someone who’s written professionally for a number of years, I always try to avoid euphemisms, choosing vernacular the average businessman or woman understands. Instead of going back to the drawing board for each game plan, I like to hit the ground running by thinking outside of the box.

I’ll usually begin by going after customer-centric, low-hanging fruit, getting my manager’s blessing with subject matter, to avoid getting thrown under the bus. After years of working with difficult editors, I’ve found drilling down and touching base with management helps deliver more bang for the buck when the marketing department keeps moving the goal posts. For instance, last week, I got the following note from my senior editor:

“I got your email and wanted to let you know that you’re on my radar. This time of year, I usually don’t have the bandwidth to circle back around with all hands on deck; especially when there’s an 800 pound gorilla in the room. But that’s par for the course. I want to take time to run your idea up the flagpole to see who salutes, before you spend time getting your ducks in a row. While I understand that your idea has legs, I think it’s important to slowly move the needle forward by putting on the record to see who dances. read more

All Entries Communication Entertainment and Show Business Health History Home Life Humor Life and Death Medicine

The Golden Era of Cigarette Ads

October 22, 2017

When Sir Walter Raleigh helped to popularize tobacco during the 16th century, he probably had no idea that he would be responsible for one of the largest and most profitable advertising campaigns in the history of Madison Avenue. Campaigns that would see a single product go from lifestyle enhancement to a pariah of the medical community within a matter of years.

Give Me Your Young at Heart

Before their negative association with health, cigarettes were marketed to successful young men and women as a way to relax and get more out of life.  Advertisements were filled with virile, athletic men and women prancing around tennis courts in snow-white shorts exclaiming,

“WHAT A DAY… what a game… what a cigarette! Why is Lucky so much a part of moments like this?”

Like any other product that clamored for the consumer’s attention, the multi-million dollar tobacco industry embarked on a constantly evolving campaign to come up with original reasons why smokers should buy their brand of cigarettes over the others: read more

All Entries Communication History Humor Technology

Great Moments in Digital History

August 18, 2016

If you’ve ever run a marathon, then you’re probably familiar with how the grueling 26.2 mile event originated. According to myth, the race was originated by the Greek messenger, Pheidippides, the early version of FedEx. Dispatched from the front lines at the Battle of Marathon, Pheidippides ran non-stop to Athens, bursting into the assembly exclaiming, “Nenikékamen,” or, “We have won” before collapsing and dying. Why didn’t he just send a tweet?

The answer, of course, is that while he could have faxed or emailed the message to Athens, Twitter wasn’t invented until hundreds of years later. If he had tweeted the message and skipped the run, chances are there wouldn’t have been a Boston Marathon, the running craze of the 1970s, running sneakers or those cute little shorts we enjoy seeing on each others’ heinies. Thousands of middle-aged, overweight couch potatoes would be even more middle-aged and overweight. There wouldn’t have been much demand for sports bras and heaven forbid… there probably wouldn’t be any Lycra. read more

All Entries Communication Education Humor The Arts

Making Writers Great Again

January 20, 2016

Folks, I’m very, very, very pleased to announce the grand opening of my Donald J. Trump Writers Workshop. Together, we will determine the course of America and the world for many, many years to come. We will face challenges, we will confront hardships… wait a minute. That’s my inaugural speech, not my Writers Workshop description. Shit. Let me try it again.

Folks, I’m very, very, very pleased to announce the grand opening of my Donald J. Trump Writers Workshop. This is going to be huge. And, believe me, you’re gonna love it, everybody. You’re gonna love it.

Just like my sucessful popular Trump University, the Trump Writers Workshop will help graduates make a ton of money, while stepping over the strewn bodies of other writers. You’ll learn how to live just like me, with a big-ass house, cool looking cars and lots of chicks that you can grab wherever and whenever you want to, because you’ll be famous. Or how to grab men by the balls, if you’re a chick or tranny. Is that great, or what? read more

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