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Toad-ally High

April 20, 2017

If you think you’ve already tried all of the traditional ways of getting high such as alcohol, marijuana, cocaine, ecstasy and are looking for a new disgusting, unhygienic way to leave the planet earth for a while, then look no further than the banks of the Colorado River.

Hopping along the river’s shores in southern Arizona, California and northern New Mexico, the “Bufo Alvarius Toad” (also called the “Cane Toad” or “Colorado River Toad”) would otherwise be in danger of being a wolf’s or Gila Monster’s main course if it weren’t for a highly toxic venom it produces whenever it gets agitated – the same venom that can get you high as a kite if properly ingested.

The venom produced by the Bufo Alvarius Toad is a concentrated chemical called “bufotenine” that also happens to contain the hallucinogen, “5-MeO-DMT.” Ingested directly from the toad’s skin in toxic doses, bufotenine is powerful enough to kill dogs and other small animals. However, when ingested in other ways – such as smoking – the toxic bufotenine  burns off leaving only 5-MeO-DMT that can produce an intense, albeit, short-lived rush that has been described as “100 times more powerful than LSD or magic mushrooms,” even if it takes a lot more work to get it.

One of the few animals that excrete 5-MeO-DMT, Bufo Alvarius Toads are leathery, greenish-gray creatures that can grow up to 9 inches long. The toads have four large glands that are located above the ear membranes and where their hind legs meet their bodies. In order to milk the venom from the Bufo Alvarius Toads, you’ll need to rub its glands, causing it to excrete the bufotenine. Catch the milky white liquid in a glass dish or other container. After the bufotenine has evaporated into a crystalline substance, collect it using a razor blade or other sharp instrument and put it in a glass smoking pipe.

Written for and excerpted from Armchair Reader The Gigantic Reader – West Side Publishing (September 7, 2009)

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