Three days after my divorce, I decided I’d lounged around enough. It was time to get going. “You’re never going to get any chicks with the way you look,” said my brother in law. “It’s a dog eat dog world out there. You need something to spruce up your appearance. Maybe some makeup.”
I have to admit it. It still bothers me – the notion of lathering lotion all over my face still makes me a bit uncomfortable. But, if I’m going to compete against younger, svelte men, I have to be ready to try anything.
King Tut did. It’s rumored that he refreshed his make-up before exiling Moses into the desert in 1446 BC. He used ground ant eggs for eyeliner and applied pearlized fish scales to enhance the color of his lips and communicate to the world “I have arrived.” Fortunately, my options today are more palatable. Besides, I’m ant-egg intolerant. But, with so many products, where does a boy begin?
I decided to follow the majority of men buying men’s skincare products by shopping for mine online. The stigma of using anything remotely girly or similar to women’s make-up still prevents most of us from hanging out at cosmetic counters in Nordstrom’s. Fortunately, I had a plethora of choices that promised to deliver their products in a plain, brown wrapper – much like my brother’s Playboy subscription back in the 1960s. Many sites even have online chat rooms staffed by licensed cosmeticians. So, that’s where I started.