By the time the kids were let out for summer vacation, the climbing window for summiting Mt. Everest had already come and gone. I promised Shimmel that I would take him and his 8-year-old sister Toiba to the top of Mt. Everest to celebrate his circumcision, but none of the guide companies would have anything to do with a middle-aged, sedentary writer and his two irascible children. So, we shifted gears and made plans to climb The Happiest Peak on Earth – the Matterhorn. Not the legendary mountain in Zermatt, but the steel and cement behemoth located in the center of Disneyland. At 147 feet, the Matterhorn towers high over…
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Last Chance Underwear Skidmarks and the smell of kids... everything you ever wanted to know about rectal hygience
When I was a kid growing up in southern California, I’d try to escape the blistering summer heat by playing in the sprinklers on the front lawn or floating submerged in a public swimming pool until my fingers turned to prunes. I counted those hours under water as part of my daily hygienic practices. My mother didn’t. At that age I didn’t know that the reason they chlorinated the water so heavily was because my classmates were peeing or Hershey squirting in the water. It looked clean to me. The way I looked at it, as long as I spent every day under water, I could go the entire summer…
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Intercourse and Horneytown Great places to live besides Looneyville, Wetwang or Goosepimple Junction
Whether you live in a small town or a large city, where you ultimately plant your feet has a lot to say about who you are. Some people choose to live in places like Wetwang, England because they work there. Others have deep rooted family trees in Looneyville, Minnesota. And what high-powered executive wouldn’t jump at the chance to get transferred to Goosepimple Junction, Virginia? To help you decide where to make your next move, here are a few places you won’t want to miss investigating: Intercourse, Pennsylvania – With its unusually suggestive name, it’s hard for most people to believe that Intercourse, PA is located in the heart of…